In the early stages of a relationship, it’s common to spend 99% of your time together. After all, you’re excited to get to know each other and spend time together. Usually, after 6-12 months of living out of each other’s pockets, you start to realise that you’re your own person and you need time to yourself to do what you enjoy. I think being your ‘own person’ when you’re in a relationship is so important.
Everyone needs their own space, it’s natural to want to be alone or to be spending time with your friends. I strongly believe that the key to a healthy relationship is to make sure you remain true to yourself and have time to yourself to grow and develop.
When I first met Shaun, we were together all the time … We met at work so were quite literally together 24/7. I found myself in a situation where I never made the time to do things that I enjoyed doing and I rarely ever saw any of my friends. I reached a point where I knew I needed my space and Shaun was the same and needed his space too. Gradually, I started to make more of an effort to spend time developing my hobbies and seeing my friends and I’m 100 times happier now I’m my own person again.
Of course, for this to work you both need to be on board. I’m very lucky in that Shaun is so supportive of my hobbies (card making, anything creative and my blog). He encourages me to follow my dreams and work towards the future I want to build for myself. He’s also totally chill if I want an evening out with my girlfriends and this works both ways. He occasionally meets up with his friends for games nights and to watch the football etc.
1 – Have some hobbies that differ from your partner – Of course, it’s great to have hobbies that you can enjoy together. But it’s also great to have hobbies that you can do on your own. For me it’s being creative, growing my blog and making handmade cards.
2 – Make time to see your friends without your partner – Shaun and I will often meet up with my best friend and her boyfriend for a double date night which is great fun! However, I still like to see my girlfriends on my own; I try and meet up with them regularly for some girl time!
3 – Let your partner have alone time and make sure you do this too – This can be for the most simple things. For example, Shaun likes to watch football on the TV and I’m not that fussed about it. Instead of telling him he can’t watch it, I simply find something else to do with the time. Often he’ll be watching TV and I’m sat on my laptop writing blog posts and watching Youtube videos because that’s what I enjoy doing.
I hope you found this somewhat useful if you’re in a situation where you feel like you’ve lost yourself slightly. How do you remain your own person in your relationship? I’d love to read in the comments below 🙂