Dealing with loss and finding ways to cope

Dealing with loss of a loved one - how to cope with loss

Today’s post was supposed to be my top 5 shows to watch on Netflix… But I just haven’t been able to write it. Recently I’ve been feeling really down and rubbish and I’ve been struggling. I’ve lost all motivation, I feel sad and upset.

What’s happened? 

Back in April, I lost my Nan. She was like my best friend. I used to go to her about everything and she was always such a huge part of my life. It was all very sudden. I saw her in March and we sat and chatted for hours and everything was fine. Then forward on a couple of weeks into April and she was gone. I won’t go into all the detail – She contracted a very rare illness that took over her body and within just a few weeks she was gone.

She was only 72, she should have still had so many more years ahead of her. The suddenness made everything 10 times worse as I had no time to prepare and never got to see her to say goodbye.

Why am I struggling now? 

Honestly, I went into denial when it first happened and kept telling myself it wasn’t real and everything would go back to normal. Every time I felt sad, I tried to push everything to the back of my mind and pretend it wasn’t happening.

My Nan has always been my go-to person for any major event that’s happened in my life. She’s listened to me rant and cry and she’s shared all of the exciting moments in my life too! I’m about to buy a house … This is a big thing in my life … So of course, the person I want to run to is my Nan. I want to share my excitement with her and tell her all my plans for decorating and such… but she isn’t here and she isn’t coming back.

It’s really hit home over the last couple of weeks that I will never see her again. I’m struggling, but I’m also trying to be brave and carry on as normal. I’m not writing this because I want your sympathy. It’s more that I want you to know it’s ok to feel sad and be upset. If you need to cry then cry!

Ways to cope with loss 

To finish up this post, I want to share some of the ways that I have been coping with loss. I know that everyone deals with things in their own way. But if this helps just one person then it was worthwhile writing it.

1 – Give yourself time to grieve and feel sad

2 – Look back on all the good memories you shared together

3 – Ask yourself the question – ‘what would the person you have lost want you to do now they’re gone?’

I know my Nan would want me to follow my dreams, be happy and probably do lot’s of baking as she loved to bake! 

4 – Try and keep busy, whether that be work or socialising.

5 – Arrange a get together with your closest friends. They’re the ones that understand you the most and they’ll always be a shoulder for you to cry on.

6 – Do something you enjoy doing.

I love being creative, so I’ve dedicated a lot of time to making cards to keep me distracted and busy. 

7 – Remember it’s ok to feel sad from time to time.

8 – Don’t ever suffer in silence. There is always someone that will listen and help.

This post is very different to what I usually post, but it just felt right and I needed to get it off my chest. If anyone else is struggling to cope with loss I will always be here to listen if you need someone. 🙂

Charlotte xx

PS – On a more lighthearted note, I will write my top 5 Netflix shows post very soon haha 😉

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. October 14, 2017 / 6:46 PM

    I am so sorry about your Nan. I have tears in my eyes reading this, my nan passed away in 2015. Although it has been quite some time… I still don’t believe I am never going to see her again. I completely agree with your tips for dealing with loss. Number 7 & 8 are really important.

    Hayley | hayleyxmartin

    • Charlotte Shares
      Author
      October 14, 2017 / 7:42 PM

      I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your Nan as well. It’s so hard trying to cope with the fact that they aren’t coming back xxx

  2. October 21, 2017 / 7:33 PM

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s definitely normal to be feeling the way you are and I know it’s cliche but it does get better with time. If you ever need anything, I know we’re not close, but I’m only a DM away. As you say there’s always someone to listen. <3

    V <3

    • Charlotte Shares
      Author
      October 21, 2017 / 9:43 PM

      Thank you so much for your kind comment!! It means a lot to know that people care xx

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